Alpha Pappa ??

Can an Alpha male really be a Pappa Latte? I’m not a fully fledged Alpha male – if you want to know what our family is really like – the Peppa Pig ‘Fun Fair’ episode is frighteningly accurate ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Lf77gRop0U ). I do have my moments though and my response to the buggy destruction derby described in my previous post has been to acquire a vehicle the size of a small caravan for the daily Kita run (see pic). It may have the turning circle of a fully loaded supertanker (which I also have) but nobody is going to miss it and it goes in straight lines on its own. I am thinking of rigging a small sail and trying sand-yatching across the Stadtpark. The real Alpha Pappa is of course the esteemed Mr Partridge – but the similarities (apart from a weakness for ABBA) end there – well ok occasional sandles and socks too. The issues bubble to the surface so often in the playground. There seem to be two types of mums there a) Sit and iphone away oblivious to their children or b) Sit, coo, chat to everyone. I have a number of problems with this – first of all having (as Mrs Pappa Latte said) the emotional depth of a puddle on a dry day – I am physically unable to coo. Secondly I think that someone forgot to enable my smalltalk chip when I was commissioned – it would be much easier if life was like Star Trek and like Data I could just switch such things on and off as required. Thirdly why does no-one engage in the playground about the downturn in the Indian economy or G20 summit, or even the rise of the Pirate Party in Hamburg – its as if, as well as the sign at the gate forbidding alcohol, dogs and smoking there is an unwritten one which forbids intelligent adult conversation within the playground. This just forces my engineer to the surface and they must wonder about the strange man explaining the use of sand as a solid lubricant on the slide, conservation of angular momentum on the roundabout, and the frequency of pendulums on the swings, to a somewhat bemused toddler. Next week is junior’s first development discussion at Kita and so far I have a small dossier of material I have researched to discuss based on the UK early years model – highlighted, cross-referenced and colour coded. I am expecting a ‘He seems very happy and lively’ type conversation – I will be polite and explain that I am probably their worst nightmare as a demanding parent, and then get out my spreadsheets. Walking, talking, birthdays all highlights of littlies lives, but when junior assembles his first Excel table that will be a day to remember. It is easy to be misunderstood if you are me – this week I became a Director (with special responsibility for leaf based beverages) of the Hamburg Mothers Meeting and even this was decried as a paternalistic, macho, imperialist takeover in some quarters (only joking Mrs K). As the song goes ‘I am what I am and what I am needs no excuses’ of as it was put perhaps better ‘You cant please everyone - so you gotta please yourself’